Breathing at 21

I've been off the blogging scene for ages now. In fact, even my journal is a bit blank, n that's quite a feat for me. Naturally, lots to update...

Things are interesting. Definitely different from say, a year ago. Vastly different.

Taking alot of classes I like. But alot of design work means my perfectionist side comes out, I spend ages on it, and procrastinate on everything else. BUT, i love it.

Still am frustrated at the lack of FRIENDS being made in uni. Had great plans for participating in lots of groups, but not getting accomodation means that plan is busted.

I have met some promising characters. But the fact that they are male and that there's some attraction beneath the surface, complicates the length of friendship. It always ends, to put it simply.

Oddly, partying brought me to them. Been doing that alot lately, as a compromise step in experiencing life rather than thinking and dissecting extensively. Partying isnt my ideal, but at 21, it's an available option.

Anyway, the boy situation is not terrificly easy. For about 6-7months I'd gone out with people I just found something attractive in. Something really small sometimes.

Then I had a somewhat ironic experience. He taught me not to 'settle' anymore, without patronizing me, he made me believe I really was worth it and I should only go for what's right. So now I accept the mortality of young relationships but I'm actually acting upon what I think is worth it, is right, is great.

I feel like I took a step forward. I grew. Because of his love. The ironic part is he's probably the only person to ever really strike at my heart, to crack it. I won't say break it, but crack it. It's a sombre kind of pain. Nothing juvenile.

So in my accepting that my maturity is not silly, or uncool, I met someone very impressive. But he decided to footsie around, but he was honest with the tangle. One instance of being uncooperative, being a little less smilingly understanding, and it seems to have closed the chapter. I don't like being difficult, but making it easy means I am the fool. Nevermind what he thinks, it'll hurt me. So that's still pending, but probably a closing chapter. A pity, because he really is fantastic.

Met one intimidated by my religion and principles.

I have a new friend too. A sincerely nice guy with some hilarious friends and we've been having a blast hanging out together. I'm happy doing simple things. So I'm loving this, especially since my friends seem so far away lately.

Blondie is lovely and possibly coming to visit. But I won't count on it, have learnt my lesson on that. Its nice having someone to talk to though.

And yet another model with brains and witty convo, also someone to look forward to talking to.

Reducing douchebags on a great scale. Things are well.

I only miss my friends.

But I have been very busy. Tired also. But enjoying life.